Thursday, May 29, 2008

Panic Attack

I haven't really sat down and wrote for a while, and I miss putting my thoughts down on e-paper. I have a lot on my mind, as does Kristi, with the surgery date rapidly approaching. Panic Attacks are becoming more frequent. I know that God will take care of Jessie, but I still can't help but worry about the 2% that don't make it through this surgery, or all the ones that lose so much physically and mentally.

Imagine that you are at Six-Flags, and you turn around, and one of your kids is gone. You don't panic at first, you calmly look around and scan the crowd, looking for that specific shirt or cap that you know that they are wearing. You definitely know that you will spot them. Then a minute passes, then two, and you realize that they are not within eye-shot...then you begin to move....fast, still scanning the crowd, now calling loudly...not caring what the people around you think. Then you start running and screaming, not knowing if they will be around the next corner or not...this IS panic. This is the panic that I feel daily.

If it were not for staying busy, family, friends, and especially my faith in God, I don't think that I would be a sane person right now....I'm not sure if I AM a sane person right now...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

We all feel your panic. Remembe to breathe... Too many peopple are with you all and will help pull you all through this!

Darrell Smith said...

I cam more than relate to your anziety as my daughter too has Rasmussen's. My name is Darrell Smith and my daughter Imani had the same surgery on November 20th of 2006. I can say from experience that you wil experience a full range of emotions but it will be ok. God is with you . Contact us as smith.darrel@sbcglobal.net or 972-292-3298. We live in Little Elm.

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